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Taking a long break...


Demitri

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I'm quitting but I don't know if i'll be back so i'll just call it a break. I quit last year and came back a few months later so....

 

I didn't want to make a post like this (again) but me being quiet as I am, I don't think leaving in silence would be best. No one would notice. Sorry, I want to leave a paper trail.

 

All in all, this isn't fun to me anymore. I thought learning how to make characters would change things, and it did for a bit but....there's just not much joy in it anymore. I don't even play mugen anymore. I keep trying to revive a dead spark for this engine by making stuff but i never finish it anyway. No one really expects me to finish either so that's a real motivation killer sometimes. Every project I touch or start seems to fall into shit, or just falls out. It's disheartening. Most of my friends have already quit. I keep going back and forth and i'm legit tired of doing that, so this is my final decision. If i could, i'd delete my account so i don't get tempted to sign back in here. i mean i stopped posting here anyway. i dont really fit in here anymore lol...

 

I digress.

 

Regarding Tier 1's return, that's no longer happening. Even if I come back, I won't bring it back, at least not under the same name & purpose.

I'd also like to use this as an opportunity to retire this username as well. I'll be using my real name from now on. Genesis.....Demitri just feels correct now.

 

To those select few who I enlisted help from(they know who they are), I sincerely apologize.

I feel like we wasted- no, I wasted your time. I did have the best of intentions, but maybe this isn't the first time something like this happened and thats why no one else has ever done what we were about to do. I will say, I did get to love you guys in the short time I got to know you. I wish you the best of luck in your personal lives, mugen careers, and whatever endeavors you have in the future. You're great people, seriously. I've met a lot of people in these 9 years. Trust me, you're great.

To those who are my real friends, you know how to reach me. To everyone else, I'll still be on guild for a bit, mainly in gaming & graphics sections if you need me.

Goodbye everyone. Happy mugening. uh happy new year. thanks for the memories.

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I'm saddened that you want to quit, but I understand your feelings. Once you lose the spark, it can be hard, sometimes impossible, to get it back. I personally know how it feels. I'm also disappointed that you won't be bringing back Tier-1, but again, I understand why.

 

Take care, man. You were one of the first people I met and really got to know since I first joined and became active in the many various MUGEN forums and I see you as one of my closest friends. Happy new year to you as well, and I wish you good luck with what you decide to do next.

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This is sad, but I understand your feelings and respect your decision. Losing that spark can be real sad. Anyway, good luck with what you decide to do next and Happy New year, mate. I will never forget the awesome contributions you made to mugen.

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You'll eventually come back somehow. It happens to every creator that it's become pretty much a daily routine: "You create, you take a break, or you quit". But anyway, wherever you're going, I wish you the best and good luck. You're welcomed back with open arms in the future.

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It all good Demitri (aka Genesis) we all sometime feel like we can't think of anything to be enjoyable, but in real life you can't please everyone and you feel you have to move on whats important for your life. Its been Nice hanging with ya Man!  :-)

 

Maybe one day you might find that 'spark' that can bring you back to MUGEN. :goodmood:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Genesis, it's been a pleasure working with you. 

 

I will say, from a life long artist that there's absolutely no shame in putting down a project for a while, years even, and moving on to other shit.  Sometimes the best thing is to take a long breather and clear your head... Then again sometimes the best thing to do is not go back at all, and free your time for something more valuable.  It can be disheartening to put a lot of time into a project and just loose the steam to finish it on time.  And having a lot of half finished projects lying around sucks, I know. 

The questions I usually ask myself at that point are "Of all these projects, which ones am I doing just for myself and my enjoyment of the creative process, and which ones am I doing because I want the actual finished product in front of me?"  "Of the projects I want in finished form, which one do I want the most?", "Do I have time for it?" 

 

Then comes the constant unspoken battle of the creative individual, which is managing to push through the difficult shit to finish the project.  That part is an exercise in self discipline in and of itself, and what you have to show at the end of the day really comes down to that.  So for that phase I like to find ways to grease the wheels of the creative process... pop on some music or an audio book while working for example.  Or make a thread documenting my progress and use the social motivation (be careful tho, sometimes getting the social reward before finishing the project can cause you to loose steam).   


Actually finishing a project is usually the hardest part.  I really like to sit back and visualize the finished product completely.  How does it look?  What are the main components?  How were they made?  And keep the vision of the finished product in mind.  Don't add anything crazy that's going to make it impossible to finish, just push toward that end goal, and know you can decide to go further or not once you're there.  And hell, even if you give up on the project, as long as you ask yourself why you gave up, you're still learning about what kind of projects to invest in and what ones not to.


I guess in the case of Mugen tho, the point is fun, and if it's not fun, there's no point.  So please don't feel like a failure, or a let down because of mugen projects.  Any creator knows just how much god awful fucking time and effort it takes to create all this shit, and no one can seriously fault you for not feeling like doing it for free.  It's just a hobby we mess around with in our spare time.   There are no real deadlines or expectations, other than the ones we make.  It should be enjoyable, not a source of stress.

Ok, I've been rambling for like 5 paragraphs at this point.  It's just that as an artist I seriously relate to the struggle you're describing, and I just figured I'd share what I've managed to learn from going through it a bunch.  Hope some of it helps :)

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Genitri. I'm sorry I wasn't able to do more for you. Which is really a shame because I literally got on today to start doing more because I'm finally free and have the time. Only to find you've left the scene. Which I understand and am okay with. It's your life and you do what you want with it. Don't worry about "wasting" my time. It's an experience, things were attempted, it wasn't what you wanted. Don't force yourself to do things you don't want. That'll just lead to an unhappy and depressing experience. I'm glad I got to know you though and hope wherever you go you have fun. I myself will be leaving Mugen soon as like you said. It's disheartening, no one's ever really shown an interest despite my hard work, and I just don't get any joy out of it anymore. My last character, Agrias, you could say was like a farewell character which is why I tried to pull all the stops with her and put into her everything I'd learned so far. Android 18 (I wanna finish her, but I like the idea of Agrias being what I mentioned, my farewell character), Mina (I reaaaally wanna make a character with her, but her sprites are actually all jacked up and have inconsistent palettes and colors and...it's a lot more work than it's worth so she's a no-go), and Fio. They might not see the light of day and remain in the darkest depths of my mugen folders forever. There's just no spark anymore and those over at MugenGuild are wrong. Mugen is a dying community. Just because there's a bunch of people just now finding out about it and making a bunch of characters doesn't mean it isn't dying. Characters will still be made for years to come, but it's not fun anymore. There's never really anything new. It's always an element that we've seen somewhere before or a mixture of different elements and...like you said. No spark. I've lost it myself. I wanna move on to bigger things starting with Unity. So I couldn't agree more with you, I'll miss you and hope you find that spark somewhere. I might just hunt you down to stay in touch. Wtf's your skype. Here I come, bitch.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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