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A Confession from RicePigeon


RicePigeon

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Almost five years ago on MFG, there was this thread;

 

http://mugenguild.com/forum/topics/regarding-ricepigeon-126149.0.html

 

I hate to bring up a dead issue from almost 5 years ago but considering a certain part of the internet recently managed to grab a hold of this thread and brought it to my attention, I felt that proper closure was needed seeing as this thread seems to lack it.

 

2011 was a rather stressful year for me. I was firmly gripped in paranoia at the time. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't any longer, but then was much worse if you ask me. Between the incident reflected in that initial post from my site 4 years ago, coupled with the fact that around that same time it dawned upon me that my characters were not exactly the quality creations I thought them to be, I figured I'd pull the plug and call it quits. To add to all this, I fabricated a story that I received a DMCA notice from someone claiming to represent Team Shanghai Alice. I wanted to distance myself from anything Touhou or Mugen related. In a way, I was ashamed of myself. I won't try to justify my actions, but I couldn't let the lie continue. I had hoped that I would convince everyone that it was a friend who sent the fake DMCA claim to me as a prank, and that the matter would be swept under the rug and people would forget about it. While that did work, my guilty conscience caught up to me over time. Looking back, I probably only contributed to the perceived negative image that the Mugen community has, not only back then, but now as well. In short, in what I thought was the best course of action at the time, I only ended up doing more harm than good. I had to come clean eventually, and that time is now.

 

I know that there are plenty of people in this community who can't handle feedback or make subpar creations and give the community a bad name in general. My biggest regret was that I became one of those people in a way. In a time where this hobby of mine that Ive been doing passionately for almost 9 years caused me to become gripped in paranoia, I lost myself. To all those who feel manipulated by my dishonesty, I apologize deeply. If this affects how people perceive me then I suppose it's well deserved. However, all I ask is that you don't let my actions portray the mugen community as a whole. Most of you know as well as I do that there are plenty of diamonds in the rough.

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I remember that thread, though it's good that it's all finally been put to rest (well, it terms of hiding the truth at least). Many of us are guilty of doing dumb things in the past that we regret, so in that regard, you're not alone, but it takes courage to own up to your wrongdoings and apologise. I dunno about the rest of the folks here and wherever else, but knowing this hasn't changed my perception of you in the slightest; if I were to look negatively upon someone because of a silly little thing they did in the past, I'd be a miserable old git ;P

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1 hour ago, GarchompMatt said:

Many of us are guilty of doing dumb things in the past that we regret, so in that regard, you're not alone

I agree with Matt. Don't let it beat you up. Shit happens, life goes on.

Hell, I'm not sure if you remember the MUGENite (if thats still a thing or if it has a different term now) going under the Alias "PichuJC"... He (Yes, a he/him) lead everyone to believe (and it worked) that he was a girl, til one day his guilty conscious got the better of him and he made a topic (similar to yours) about how he lied about the fact that he was a girl when he was actually boy. Holy shit dude, that topic blew up hard core! ranging from name calling and telling him to get lost. Shit got crazy fast that day. 

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I have done many stupid things in my life, but it really isn't your fault as several people don't understand that Mugen's a free source program, but if someone wants their characters to be known by their region only, I can respect that. But put your past behind you, don't let our failures overcome your goals, prove that you can be trusted. I never thought anything badly about any of the staff here, I think you're one of the most trustworthy people, and you're a Gmod, that alone shows how much people can rely on you. Unless someone I knew murdered somebody, I'd still trust and care about them, no matter what, because everyone can change if they try.

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Rice, as one of your fans of your creations of your characters, I may have to say that you have to forget about those times. The bad times you had for lying and all. Look toward the future instead, look onto the good times you had with people, look upon the good times you had chatting with people you liked the most, people that you may find silly at best but kind too. 

 

Forget all all the bad times you had, look toward the good times and the future itself, of course.

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Whatever happened in the past stays in the past... it doesn't change the way you are now. Many of us had these moments but that's all in the past now. Sure you may have done something you'll regret later but all in the end, once it's all over and let it all out, the haunting ends. Best thing to do is to let go and just move on in life and continue what you enjoy.

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I feel your pain Rice. :-(

 

Even I myself did alot stupid things in the past and Man! i still regret myself in way that its like 'you wish you could go back in time and change what you did' but knowing the damage has been done. However the only thing you can do is forget about the past and move on and see what you can do to make things better for yourself and others. 

Your a Cool and intelligent Person Rice and I know you have the knowledge on overcoming those situations. :goodmood:

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No one in this world is perfect Rice. We all have skeletons in our closet. Some of us have done our wrongdoings in the past. But for now, do not let that guilty conscience hang over you no longer. Leave the past in the behind and press on in the present. :)

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On 24/12/2015 at 11:14 PM, Big Fella said:

Rice, as one of your fans of your creations of your characters, I may have to say that you have to forget about those times. The bad times you had for lying and all. Look toward the future instead, look onto the good times you had with people, look upon the good times you had chatting with people you liked the most, people that you may find silly at best but kind too. 

 

Forget all all the bad times you had, look toward the good times and the future itself, of course.

my Big Fella's right, back in the past, I was a filthy liar and a coward, I was kicked from a forum and I had problems at school, I fell in a huge depression and was forced to go to therapy, and some weeks of therapy were enough to get me off depression, past is something that people must learn to classify, in my case, negative things disappear like sand, while the good memories will stay there, forever...point is Rice, look at the future, and think of all people who enjoy your characters

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On 12/29/2015 at 1:58 PM, Ink Renegade W' said:

Old shame's pretty natural, bud. Look at many other now-famous creators. Even The_None has stuff he wants to put behind him.

We've all made mistakes. It's how you rectify the situation that defines you. How well you make amends with the ones who you've offended. I made a stage once just to piss someone off. But I later apologized. But if still had hard feelings inside and I lashed out at them when they showed up here. But once I took a step back I realized I was really mad at myself for letting my anger and judgement of others get the best of me. We later became friends. Not because he changed...but because I did. For the better. He's actually a good friend of Rice as well...

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

I think the Guild has brought out the worst in a lot of people. Stuff happens. You move on and learn. In all honesty, I can only remember one time I regretted doing something and that was my flaming o_O VIB O_o on MUGEN Dev forum back around 2001. I misread something VIB wrote and I overreacted. So join the crowd Ricepigeon, it happens.

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